Real South Carolinians Share Their Stories

"Still Paying for a Marriage That Ended Years Ago”

I was married for 15 years. We both worked, we both contributed, and when it ended, I thought the hardest part would be moving on emotionally. But I was wrong. It’s been 12 years since the divorce, and I’m still paying permanent alimony every single month. My ex has since earned a graduate degree, been engaged (going on six years now), and bought a new home — yet I’m still legally responsible for supporting her. I’ve tried to rebuild, but how do you move forward when the law keeps you tethered to the past? Permanent alimony isn’t justice — it’s a lifelong punishment. -Manufacturing Supervisor, Greer

"The Grief Never Ended — It Just Changed Forms”

Divorce was devastating. I spent years trying to heal, to forgive, to rebuild some sense of normalcy. But when the court ordered permanent alimony, it felt like the grief started all over again. Every month is a reminder of the loss — not just of my marriage, but of my independence. I’m not bitter, but I am exhausted. This isn’t how healing works. South Carolina’s laws don’t help families recover; they keep us stuck in a cycle of resentment and financial strain. There is no closure. Ever. -Non Profit Coordinator, Columbia

"I’m 78 and Still Working"

I’m 78 years old and still working full time. Not because I want to — but because I have to. I was married for 18 years and have now paid alimony for over 30. My body hurts, my energy is gone, and I can’t retire because the payments never end. My ex lives comfortably, and that’s fine — but I should have the right to rest. After a lifetime of work, this system has taken away the peace I earned. It’s not fairness. It’s cruelty disguised as compassion. -Field Technician, Florence

"Financially Bound to the Person Who Left Me"

When my marriage ended, it wasn’t my choice. I didn't choose the divorce, file for it, or dictate its terms. I accepted it, painful as it was, and tried to move forward. But the state decided I would remain financially tied to my ex indefinitely. I lost my house, my right to see my children every day, and any sense of stability. Now, imagine being forced to send a check every month to the person who left you, while trying to rebuild your life. It’s not about revenge — it’s about justice. South Carolina needs laws that reflect equality and personal responsibility, not permanent dependency. - Logistics Manager, North Charleston

"No Way to Move Forward"

I believed divorce would bring closure, but it didn’t. My ex moved out of state and hasn’t worked in years, even though she’s capable and educated. I’ve filed for modification, but the system is stacked against you from the start. Judges rarely end permanent alimony once it’s awarded. So I keep paying, year after year, while trying to explain to my children why their father still writes checks to their mother. This isn’t just a legal problem — it’s an emotional one that never ends. -Father of three, Rock Hill

“A Lifetime of Paying for the Past”

I supported my ex through school and career changes, and when we divorced, the judge said I’d continue supporting him — for life. I’ve since remarried, raised children, and worked my way up professionally, but that court order never stopped. Every raise, every promotion, every success feels half-earned because someone else still benefits from it. Alimony should be a bridge — not a leash. I want to move on, not look backward for the rest of my life. - Mother of two, Columbia

“This Isn’t Equality — It’s Entrapment”

I was a stay-at-home mom for most of my marriage, and I understand the need for support during transition. But permanent alimony doesn’t encourage rebuilding — it encourages dependency. I’ve seen women who could thrive, who could start new careers, but they don’t because the system rewards doing nothing. That’s not empowerment — it’s entrapment. Fairness means giving both people the chance to stand on their own two feet again. -Former stay-at-home mom, Greenville

"A System That Destroys More Than It Protects”

I thought South Carolina’s family courts were meant to protect families, but what I’ve seen is the opposite. Permanent alimony has turned former spouses into lifelong adversaries. It keeps anger alive and drags conflict into every new chapter of life. My kids have grown up watching two parents stay locked in battle — not because of love or hate, but because the law won’t let go. We deserve a system that ends marriages fairly and lets both people truly start over. -Parent of two, Anderson

"Serving My Country Was Easier Than Surviving This”

I spent 24 years in the U.S. Air Force, serving my country, deploying overseas, and sacrificing time with my family. I thought retirement would mean peace — time to finally live the life I’d earned. But instead, for the past 26 years, I’ve been paying permanent alimony to the woman who left me. She’s never remarried, never worked full-time, and continues to live off my pension while I keep working to support her lifestyle. I didn’t mind providing when we were married — that’s what families do — but to be ordered to do it for life, decades after the divorce, is something no veteran should ever face. I served my country with honor. Now I just want the freedom I fought for.
— Retired Air Force Master Sergeant, Sumter

"Starting Over Shouldn’t Mean Starting From Behind”

I’m in my early 40s, trying to build a business and a new life after divorce. But every time I get ahead, that alimony payment pulls me back. My ex is fully capable of working — she has a degree and no dependents — but South Carolina law doesn’t care. I’m paying almost $2,000 a month while renting a one-bedroom apartment and skipping vacations with my kids because I can’t afford it. I don’t want to punish anyone. I just want to move forward like everyone else.
— Small Business Owner, Greenville

“I Was Young, Naïve, and Thought This Would End”

I was 34 when I got divorced. The judge called it “permanent alimony,” and I honestly didn’t think it meant forever — I assumed it would end once my ex got back on her feet. That was twelve years ago. She’s cohabitated with another partner (carefully avoiding staying together for 90 consecutive days) and still receives monthly checks from me. The stress has followed me through every chapter of my life — new relationships, job changes, even mental health struggles. I’ve learned to live with it, but it’s a weight that never lifts. There’s nothing “rehabilitative” about a lifetime sentence.
— Sales Professional, Charleston

"She Knows Exactly How to Work the System”

My ex figured out early on that the system rewards dependency. Every time I try to modify the order, she finds a way to make it look like she still “needs” the money — part-time jobs that conveniently end, vague health claims, new boyfriends she won’t live with just to keep the checks coming. We were married for thirteen years, and I’ve now paid for 17 years and counting, and the courts don’t care that she’s capable of full-time work, despite significant education and experience. South Carolina’s laws make it easy to manipulate the system and impossible to escape it. It’s not about fairness anymore — it’s about who can play the game better.
— Engineer, Anderson County

"It Never Ends."

After my divorce, I rebuilt my life — but the court order means it never really ended. — South Carolina father, Pickens

"I Didn't Want That for Him."

Unfortunately, our marriage didn't work out. Despite that, I did’t want my ex-husband trapped forever. And to be honest, while it could have benefitted me financially, I knew it wasn't right and I didn't want to have that hanging over me. I support alimony reform.” — South Carolina mother of two, Seneca

"I Live in a State Imposed Prison."

Iwas happily married - or so thought - for 13 years. Nearly overnight I went from 'white knight' to 'could do nothing right', and after a couple of months was served divorce papers out of the blue; I never saw it coming. I did everything I knew how to do as a husband, but it didn't matter. When lawyers got involved there was no turning back. After a long and ugly court battle, because my (highly educated and capable) ex-wife had recently been a stay at home mother, she was imputed zero income and I was ordered to pay permanent alimony. She divorced me, without cause, and we were divorced on the basis of 'one year separation' in South Carolina. I lost my house, my kids, and now pay her significant alimony -tax free - every month. I live in a state imposed prison despite being actually guilty of nothing. I dig deep to fight off the depression of lost freedom every single day. -South Carolina Father of five, Sumter

“I Pay for the Man Who Broke Our Marriage.”

I spent years building my career from nothing — late nights, long commutes, certifications, everything. I was the steady one. I supported my husband through job changes, layoffs, and every dream he ever had. I thought we were a team.Then one day I discovered messages on his phone that made my stomach drop. He denied everything, of course — even in court — but I knew the truth. I filed for divorce because our marriage was already broken, and I refused to keep living a lie.

I thought the hardest part would be ending the marriage. I was wrong.Because he had been “between jobs” when everything came to light, and because South Carolina still treats capable adults like dependents, the court imputed him zero income and ordered me to pay permanent alimony. Permanent — as in, until one of us dies.He cheated. I left. And somehow I’m the one writing a check every month to subsidize the life he gets to keep living.

I’ve moved twice since the divorce. I rebuilt everything from scratch in another state, new job, new town, new friendships — but the alimony follows me like a chain I can’t cut. South Carolina’s laws don’t care that I’m the only one who ever showed up financially. They don’t care that I was the wronged spouse. They don’t care that I’m starting over alone. I’m bound to a man I no longer speak to, in a state I no longer live in, because the law says he is permanently entitled to my income.It’s a life sentence for leaving someone who broke my trust. Every month I’m reminded that in South Carolina, accountability doesn’t matter — only dependency does. I fight every day to keep this from crushing me.

— Maine Native, now living in Texas

“One Senator Silenced Millions.”

I spent over a decade fighting for alimony reform in South Carolina. We did everything right — built support statewide, won huge House majorities, even secured enough Senate votes to pass reform outright. But the bill never reached the floor.

Because in South Carolina, one committee chair can kill a bill all by himself — especially when he’s closely aligned with the lawyers who profit from keeping families locked in permanent conflict.

After a decade of work, I learned the truth:
We don’t have a people problem. We don’t have a policy problem.
We have a system where entrenched interests outrank the will of the entire state. I’m still fighting. But I now understand exactly what we’re up against — and why we have to fight louder.

— SC Native and Ten+ Year Advocate for Reform

“The Law Is Nearly 100 Years Old — and It Shows.”

I’ve practiced family law in South Carolina for decades. The permanent alimony statute we still use today was written almost a century ago, in a completely different cultural and economic era. It no longer reflects modern marriages, modern careers, or modern families.

The result?
Unpredictability. Anxiety. Uneven outcomes.
People walk into court with their entire financial future on the line, and even the most experienced attorneys cannot reliably tell them what will happen. That uncertainty alone creates conflict and dysfunction.

Permanent alimony, as it currently stands, is exceptionally detrimental to people’s lives. It traps former spouses together long after a marriage ends, and the burden falls hardest on working families trying to rebuild.

Most of my colleagues support reasonable, predictable reform — guidelines, limits, and clarity. They want outcomes that make sense. They want clients to move on with their lives.

But others view the chaos of permanent alimony as part of their business model. Uncertainty drives litigation. Litigation drives revenue. And so the system stays stuck, even as real families suffer under laws written for a different century.

South Carolina can — and should — do better. Predictable reform helps everyone: spouses, children, judges, and yes, even lawyers.

It’s time.

— South Carolina Family Law Attorney

“After 35 Years in Family Law, I Can Say This: Permanent Alimony Hurts More Than It Helps.”

I practiced family law in South Carolina for over three decades. I represented men, women, high earners, stay-at-home parents, young families, retirees — all of them. And after a lifetime in this field, I can tell you plainly:
Our permanent alimony statute is outdated, unpredictable, and harmful.

The law was written generations ago, when women couldn’t easily work outside the home and long-term dependency was the norm. That is not the world we live in today. Yet our courts are still applying a nearly century-old structure to modern families with dual incomes, shared parenting, and vastly different expectations.

The problem isn’t just the law itself — it’s the uncertainty.
Judges have enormous discretion, and outcomes vary wildly from courtroom to courtroom. I’ve seen clients walk in hoping for closure and walk out with a financial obligation that lasts longer than their marriage ever did.

That level of unpredictability breeds fear, conflict, and desperation. It prolongs litigation. It damages families who are already hurting. Some of the most heartbreaking cases I handled were not about the divorce itself — they were about the years of financial entanglement that followed.

Most attorneys I worked alongside wanted reform. Quietly, they would admit the statute doesn’t serve modern families, doesn’t create stability, and doesn’t promote fairness. But a few preferred the uncertainty. Unpredictability means more hearings, more billable hours, and more protracted conflict. And as long as the law remains vague, those incentives stay intact.

Now that I’m retired, I can say what many attorneys still whisper:
South Carolina needs predictable, reasonable alimony reform.
Time limits, clear guidelines, and a path to finality would help families heal instead of trapping them in years of financial dependency.

The goal of family court should be resolution — not lifelong entanglement.

— Retired South Carolina Family Law Attorney